so slow.............

it's painfully slow at the bank today - worse than normal. usually, by the end of any given day, each of us will have somewhere around a hundred transactions. today, all of our transactions together (there are four of us) add up to about 80. crazy.

so needless to say, i'm bored. but Kate called with something interesting. she works for Excel physical therapy, and one of their offices is looking for a receptionist. the position requires a variety of things, and pays more than i'm making right now. i wouldn't be bored, and i would be getting paid more! before anything though, i need to check with the one in charge to see if it's something i should pursue or not. i don't want to leave here prematurely... so i will be praying tonight!

things have started to feel a little better. Matt's feeling better about where he's at, which helps me to feel a bit more content with where i am. although i go home everyday feeling so tired and worn down.. i don't work hard enough to feel as tired as i do every evening! i think a lot of it is psychological - it just wears you out more when you aren't doing something you enjoy. but just because it's psychological doesn't invalidate it at all. just ask Jon and Linda, or anyone involved in strengh finders. ask someone who struggles with extreme depression. ask anyone who struggles with low self-esteem. or better yet, ask dr. crane from batman begins, who is fascinated with the power of the mind over the body. it really is something.
or you could just ask me, a pyschology major who likes to pretend to be a psychologist. :)

Matt brought me coffee today, just because. he sat in the break room with me for part of my lunch, smiling and watching me the whole time, every now and then leaning in to kiss me. he makes me feel so loved. i'm a lucky girl.. God has blessed me big time. i know we'll get through this - i have no doubt about that. there's no end in sight now, but at least i have him in sight. it helps more than i could ever say.

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