two things that are making Sarah very happy today

two things I wanted to share with someone. so here goes.

first of all, I haven't taken any nausea medication today (first time in a month and a half!), and I feel GREAT!!!

second of all, and anyone who knows me should know how happy this is making me. there's a room that has a coffee pot close to my room. every time I walk by, I have to hold my breath (the smell makes me want to empty my stomach as quickly as possible).
well, I walked by today, and nothing! the smell didn't make me feel sick!!

maybe I'll be able to step foot inside a Starbucks again sooner than later. :)


I had my first experience last night with Dance Dance Revolution (DDR).
I was a little bit nervous. I get that way when I'm about to get up in front of any number of people (last night it was about 6) and doing something I've never done, and there's the potential for being made the fool.
it all turned out well in the end - I loved it! I have a new favorite past-time. and it's a great workout! my heart rate was up whenever I was on the pad.

I have to give a little disclaimer. my first song was so easy, it was almost ridiculous. everyone, even people who were good at the game, were scoring a "D" on every song. I scored a "B" on my first shot - that was how easy my song was.
I got better through the evening, but that wasn't the point. the point was that we had fun, laughed a lot, and burned a couple hundred calories.


renew your mind

I decided on a way to start the process of renewing your mind.
memorizing Scripture!
I started on Monday with Psalm 61:1-4.
I used to memorize Scripture all the time, but for some reason, I stopped.
now I'm starting again. 
then, when things are quiet, what pops into my head won't be negaive things about myself or anything else, but it will be the words that I have been storing in my mind and heart.  at least that's what I'm hoping!

I'm going to try and type Psalm 61:1-4 from memory.  you can check my work if you'd like! (NASB version)

Hear my cry, oh God
Give heed to my prayer
from the end of the earth I call out to You when my heart is faint
lead me to the Rock that is higher than I
for You have been a refuge for me
a tower of strength against the enemy
let me dwell in Your tent forever
let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.



I think I have a lesson to learn from a cheesy musical. that's right, Hairspray. John Travolta dressed up as a woman, married to Christopher Walken. can't get much worse than that!

but on to my point..
I have a problem. my identity seems to be in the wrong thing a lot of the time.
it's in how I look.
I didn't realize this was still an issue for me until a couple of weeks ago.
you see, I used to be a lot heavier than I am now. 40 pounds and several sizes up all through junior high and high school. so much of who I was got wrapped up in how I looked. I never did like the way I looked.
then I lost weight. I was happy with where I was. lots lighter, and wearing a size 8 jeans. I couldn't have been happier. all the compliments helped - I loved all the positive attention!

then I got pregnant.
now, I know, you're supposed to gain weight when you're pregnant. but it's different when it's you.
my pants started getting tight almost a month ago. I gained about 8 pounds. not much, you may say. but it triggered something in me. my pants weren't fitting right, and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror.
and my identity got wrapped up in that.
or I should say, I realized that it always was wrapped up in my weight. it's just that, when I liked where I was, I didn't think about it so much.

so what do you do about this problem? I know my identity truly is in Christ. nothing else can or should define me. but I let this issue define me. and I don't know how to stop.

so back to Hairspray. it's all about this TV show that's full of in shape white kids who dance super well. by the end, you have Tracy, the short fat girl, as the star of the show. oh, and it ends up being integrated. all races dance together. it's a great story (if a little cheesy in getting there).
and not only that, the hot hunk guy leaves his pretty little blond girlfriend because he falls in love with Tracy's heart.
the whole movie, Tracy had it right. her identity was found in what was in her heart. not in how she looked.

I love that. it's a great lesson. now, I just need to figure out how to apply it!


for future reference

note to self:
never watch the last 10 minutes of "A Baby Story" on TLC while on break at work.
you'll cry as hard as that newly born baby, and you will still have to go back to face a room full of 7th graders.


when two or more

it's funny to me how we avoid the things that do us the most good.
mending relationships.
being truly open with one another.
looking past a person's actions to who we know they really are.

the thing I avoid the most that truly does the most good?
praying together.
if someone comes to me with a burden, something heavy on their heart, I always have the thought, "we should pray together now!". almost inevitably, however, I give in the my fears and just say "I'll be praying for you." it's an appreciated response, but how sincere is it? really?
how much better would it be to say, "can I pray with / for you, right now?"

I did that today. it was with a safe person, which makes it easier (thanks, sis).
we were talking, and we were both going through (kind of) similar things.
I again had the though that we should pray together right then and there. I ignored it for a good ten minutes. but thankfully, the Holy Spirit won out this time! I got the words out, "can I pray for you right now?". and I did. and she prayed for me. and the Lord was there.
if two or more gather together and ask for anything in His name, He will do it.

what a wonderful gift. we should use it more often. we should pray together.
I'm going to try and make a point of it from now on. I'm always beyond happy with the results!! it's just making myself say the words that's the hard part...


A Daughter of Zion

"Love is the only mirror we must use to judge ourselves and others.  And I will tell you this from my deepest heart: your life and happiness are worth the world to me -- worth more than my own life.  If I, who am only a man, can love you so very much, when you look into the mirror of God's love, Rachel, you will see hope and joy and mercy.  You will see how very much he cares for you and values you as His own dear daughter."

-by Bodie Thoene

trial... and forgiveness.

from yesterday's devotional (credit to Matthew Anderson and N.T. Wright, Christians at the Cross):

"What that means for us – and this is close to the heart of the meaning of the cross – is that the bad things that have happened in our lives, to us personally, or in our community, can be brought to the foot of the cross and left there. He has taken them: lies, injustices, betrayals, insults, and physical violence, all of it. He meant to take them, because in his great love for us, he did not intend that our lives should be crippled by them. Even when we have been partly responsible for them; in fact, particularly when we have been responsible for them. That's what forgiveness is all about: not saying "It didn't really happen," or "It didn't really matter," but instead, "It did happen, and it did matter, but Jesus has dealt with it all and we can be free of it." Jesus didn't want us to be bowed down under that weight, turning us into grumblers and blamers and perpetual victims. He wanted us to take all that evil and set us free from its weight."

it doesn't matter what's happened to us.  it doesn't matter what we've done, or how we've responded to those things that have happened to us.  what matters is that we lay it down at the cross and let Him make it into something good. 
we shouldn't deny it, no matter how hard it is to accept.  even when we don't understand why.... ESPECIALLY when we don't understand why.  it did happen.  it did matter.  but He has given us a way to freedom.  incredible.


His ways are higher..

he got the job!!
Matt has been interviewing for a promotion within his company for a couple of weeks now. by all (human) accounts, the position should have been given to someone with much more experience, or to someone who's been with the company for longer.
evidently, the Lord had a different idea!
they made him an offer yesterday. he accepted right away.

the Lord's provision in this is so obvious to both of us. while I'm still working, we can save up money for after we have the baby. after I have the baby, I'll be able to quit and be a full-time mom! it'll be a dream I've always hoped would come true. his raise will be enough to make up for me not working, as well as an increase in rent (we need a bigger place if there's going to be a baby Koenig!).

He is so good. and His timing is perfect!


another thought

I read at the beginning of the week that our baby is the size of a lime (about two inches long).
that's pretty big if you think about it!  considering that last week, it was the size of a grape.
now that's what you call growth!
no wonder I'm so blasted tired all the time...

dreaming your fears

tell me if you've experienced this before.  Matt said he's never had this happen, but I've had it happen more times than I can count!
pretend that you have a fear about something.  then, pretend that you have a very realistic dream that the event that you fear so much happens.  you wake up, and you're not so afraid anymore. 
it's similar to the idea that the thought of something is worse than it actually happening.  such as, the thought of a broken bone is worse than actually breaking a bone.
once you actually experience it (or, in my case, have a dream about it), the fear alleviates quite a bit.

why do I bring this up?  well, I had a really terrible dream the other night. 
it was about the baby... and it was not good.
it was something I'd been thinking about, and terrified that it actually might happen.
and then, I had a very vivid, terrifying dream about it.
but now, my fear is still there.  it didn't alleviate it.
I'm not sure what to make of that.

I'm thinking it's a combination.  my aunt, experienced midwife, said that many pregnant women she sees have "techni-color dreams", and that's it's normal for them to be bad or stressful.
I'm also thinking maybe the enemy is trying to put more fear in my heart.  that he's trying to keep me from trusting the Lord to see this through, in whatever way He wills.

since that night, my dreams haven't been so bad.  and I think I've been sleeping better.  maybe, as the dream fades into memory, I'll sleep better, and my fears will lessen.  that's what I'm praying for.
and in the meantime, I just need to trust.  and wait.  and hope the rest of my first trimester goes very very quickly!


she did it!

Kate, you did it! you married the one your heart loved. way to go. congratulations. many happy returns. and all those other really happy things I have to say to you right now!
I'm so excited to watch as you & Todd figure out life together. it's going to be an adventure. it's hard at times, but so much fun, and so rewarding in the midst of all the hard stuff!
you guys are wonderful. and I'm so happy for you.


our little strawberry

that's how big our baby is.  it's crazy to think about - how he or she is so stinkin' small, but is causing me so much trouble! 
I wonder if that's a precursor to the temperment of our baby.  I do believe I'm doomed by a mother's prophecy.
whenever she was frustrated with me (almost always directly related to my bull-headed strong will), my mom would say "I hope you have a little boy someday, just like you!".  because everybody knows that strong-willed little boys are even more difficult to handle than strong-willed little girls.
her vengeance will be complete.  and I'll love every trying second of it!



it's really faint, but you can still see him/her. barely. look towards the middle, a little closer to the top. there's a darker area with a little peanut shape in the middle of it.
that's our peanut!


one step at a time...

Hey Everybody! I have a theory that it's generally easier for girls to blog then guys; at least about "life" stuff. Guys could go on forever about concrete/knowledge-based concepts, but typing about one's touchy feely stuff gets a bit more difficult. I may just prove myself wrong.

We had our first ultrasound on Friday, which was AMAZING. We barely saw the heartbeat, but we did see it. (I know I wasn't imagining it.) This time is kind of an odd mix of excitement and perseverance though I know the challenging times haven't even come yet. Sarah is still feeling extremely tired every day. She's not able to enjoy things as much due to her ill feelings; work is also more difficult. Please pray for grace as she endures these next few weeks of time when it's normal to feel crappy.

I also had an interview last Thursday at my current company. This position would be more interesting, more challenging and would also be better financially. Please pray for the Lord's will in this and direction/guidance/wisdom if I don't get it.

Thank you for caring and for reading this. We truly appreciate all of our friends.