dreaming your fears

tell me if you've experienced this before.  Matt said he's never had this happen, but I've had it happen more times than I can count!
pretend that you have a fear about something.  then, pretend that you have a very realistic dream that the event that you fear so much happens.  you wake up, and you're not so afraid anymore. 
it's similar to the idea that the thought of something is worse than it actually happening.  such as, the thought of a broken bone is worse than actually breaking a bone.
once you actually experience it (or, in my case, have a dream about it), the fear alleviates quite a bit.

why do I bring this up?  well, I had a really terrible dream the other night. 
it was about the baby... and it was not good.
it was something I'd been thinking about, and terrified that it actually might happen.
and then, I had a very vivid, terrifying dream about it.
but now, my fear is still there.  it didn't alleviate it.
I'm not sure what to make of that.

I'm thinking it's a combination.  my aunt, experienced midwife, said that many pregnant women she sees have "techni-color dreams", and that's it's normal for them to be bad or stressful.
I'm also thinking maybe the enemy is trying to put more fear in my heart.  that he's trying to keep me from trusting the Lord to see this through, in whatever way He wills.

since that night, my dreams haven't been so bad.  and I think I've been sleeping better.  maybe, as the dream fades into memory, I'll sleep better, and my fears will lessen.  that's what I'm praying for.
and in the meantime, I just need to trust.  and wait.  and hope the rest of my first trimester goes very very quickly!

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