self-esteem destruction

I've discovered a very good way to destroy someone's self-esteem in 30 seconds or less.
ask them if they're pregnant.
better yet, ask them repeatedly (over the course of a couple of months, or course). then, after being told "no, I'm not pregnant", look the person up and down, then with a questioning look in your eyes, say, "are you lying to me?" when they say "no" again, tell them that it "looks like you're trying to hide it" and that "you look very motherly".

you may wonder why I say all of this.
well, because it happened to me! the last month, I've been asked over and over again.
and the above conversation, though it may sound fabricated, happened today, with a co-worker.
trust me, I took no liberties. the conversation is typed out word for word as it happened less than an hour ago.

I have a few questions on the subject.
first, why would you EVER ask if someone was pregnant? unless they're about ready to pop they're so incredibly pregnant, that's a question you should never ask (at least based on appearances).
second, let's pretend for a second that I am pregnant (which I'm not - I want to be, but I'm not yet!). under that assumption (that I'm pregnant), say I am lying to you and I'm wearing clothes in a way that hides the pregnancy. don't you think that maybe, just maybe, I have a reason for not telling you? for hiding the facts? as a co-worker (my manager, to be exact, who I have no relationship with and rarely talk to or see), why would you ask these questions of someone? are you trying to destroy their self-esteem?

well, it pretty much worked. I feel like crawling in a hole. or maybe I'll just go to the bathroom, lock myself in a stall, and have a good cry.

1 comment:

Jackie said...

Wow, that is so crazy...I think some people are born without a tact gene or more likely just ignore it.

Plus, I don't know what she's talking about! I don't think you look "motherly" at all, unless she means that you look all glowing & radiant...which you do! I have attributed it to the fact that you're finally able to start this new part of your life, one that you have been looking forward to and longing for quite awhile.

P.S. I am sure your very great husband has already backed this up, but figured extra commentary would be ok.