2.02.2008

why the emphasis?

a friend posed a question of me about a week and a half ago.
she also posted about it.

she asked why it was so important to be married. or even dating someone.
why has it become such an emphasis in the church? why can't we ask something of single people besides "is there a special someone in your life?".

it was a good question. and it made me think.
I was pondering one night, and I feel like the Lord spoke something to me. it was rather simple, and I don't think it's a complete answer. but it may be a start.

He said that we've missed it. as a culture first, and as a church second. we've missed the mark.
He made us for community. He made us to share our lives with those around us. to have intimacy in our relationships. to know one another inside and out. to live in such a way that nothing is kept secret, and our needs are taken care of.
our culture has become so independent and self-sufficient. the church has done the same (in many cases, and in my opinion).
we live separate, lonely lives. we have a need, and we take care of ourselves.
therefore, we've missed the mark. we've lost out on the way He's designed us to live.

except in marriage.
what the Lord designed for us to find in community with other believers, we find almost solely in our spouses. He designed us with many needs. and these needs should be fulfilled by the many in our lives. but it doesn't seem to work that way very often, in our culture or in the church.
Waypoint wants to change that.
but for now, it seems to still be that way.

could that be why there's such an emphasis on marriage? on finding "the one"?
we have unfulfilled needs. our hearts are longing for something, but we can't quite figure out what. so we look for it in a spouse. in a girlfriend or boyfriend.

if we truly lived in community, if we truly relied on one another, if we truly shared our lives in intimacy with one another - I have to wonder. would the emphasis on marriage lessen a little?

marriage is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for anything. but maybe, if we were living the way He intended, it wouldn't seem so necessary to so many.

food for thought. I'm not saying this is the answer - it was just a little something that came to me!

a few words from a band called Watashi Wa:

We just need someone
We are more than wandering lives, or shadows in the dark
We all need someone to carry each other through it all
Everybody needs someone

Of all the things in the world
Of all the dreams in the world

We just need someone
We are more than wandering lives, or shadows in the dark
We all need someone to carry each other through it all

2 comments:

Abigail said...

YES! In an individualistic society it is not always appropriate to call someone and say "I'm hurting, HELP ME!". It is however, appropriate in marraige. Not going to lie- even when hanging out with community I still am sad to go home to a lonely house- but it isn't as bad! Love you!

matt_k said...

Everything we discussed! Obviously, I agree. I love you and miss you already this morning!