last words

from the end of Hadassah...

"of course, there is another character in this drama, the One who, despite our limited view of circumstances, watched and cared for His people through every twist and turn. He is the One who oversaw its whole outcome--and with whom i still revel in a rich and amazing relationship. He is YHWH, the G-d of my fathers. i cannot pretend that i feel Him every day as strongly as i did during some of those times of agonizing crisis. yet i do feel His Spirit with me, i speak to Him constantly, and someteims at the oddest of moments--watching a sunset over the palace mount, holding a small child, walking with Mordecai or Jesse--i feel His presnce as vividly as ever.

during such occasions i am given to laughing out loud, shouting out a word or two in His praise, raising my hands to the heavens and even weeping uncontrollably. i wish more than anything that i could see Him with my earthy eyes at those times--so i could run to Him like that tiny child seeing his returning father and jump blissfully into His arms. instead, i content myself with a few feeble old lady's leaps or two. and then i bask inwardly in the embrace of His presence, exulting in His love and praising Him for all that He is--to me, to my people and now to you.

they say i am turning into an old woman and that old women are given to this kind of eccentric behavior.

i only hope they--and you--will someday share my lunacy."