mission: not yet accomplished

last night was quite the girls night.
every wednesday night, a bunch of us girls end up either at Sandy's or Jane's for a night of food, laughter, and and episode of Lost (which i highly reccommend). these nights rarely disappoint, and last night was no exception.

first was a conversation with Ranae about forgiveness, and how to tell if you've actually forgiven someone, or if you'd just said the words. and when it come to ex-boyfriends, it can get kind of sticky..
then came papa murphy's, thanks to Jane! oh, the joys of chicken garlic pizza...
then more frustrations with boys... a boy who is far far away and a girl who misses him dearly.

then came Lost. always intense, always suspensful, and this time seemed to be more directed to the females in the audience. it threatened to bring a tear to my eye more than once.

one of my favorite lines (NOT one of the tear-jerkers) was when Kate (on the show) apologized, saying "i'm sorry i kissed you". after a slight pause, Jack looks over at Kate, and as cheesily as possible, says "i'm not". you should've been there to hear the reaction in the room! and if you were.. wasn't it a great moment? until Michael came tumbling out of the woods and ruined the moment....

the TV went off, and conversation soared. Kate got a phone call from one of her e-harmony guys, and jetted out of the house faster than i've ever seen her move. and i used to run with her! boy, was she red.... and not only did she leave her stack of papers behind, but also her computer, still turned on. she isn't going to live that one down very quickly.
then came the interesting conversation......
i won't enlighten you on the content.. i don't know how appropriate it would be for a public post. but let's just say that there was much laughing, and opinions asked of me, the only married girl in the room. 'nough said!
(for those of you who were present, the mission has not yet been accomplished; however, please take notice of my use of the word "yet")

after getting home, i sat on the deck on our new deck chairs to enjoy the beautiful evening. Matt joined me when he got home, and the deeper conversation started. he had spent the evening at church, talking with and praying for people. my thought: he's doing all these significant things, and i go to girls night, watch Lost, and laugh with my friends. am i having any impact on anyone???
his response: "you help me!"
and my following thought was, i am doing exactly as i know the Lord has told me to, and hopefully am having more impact on those around me than is readily visible. my job is to remain obedient, not make self-assessments!

and good time with my girls is always a necessity. :)

.................................................................................................

i started a new book yesterday. it's by Donald Miller, the author of blue like jazz. it's title is through painted deserts. it's all about him leaving home to "search for himself", and about what he learns along the way.
there was a paragraph or two that i wanted to share with you:

"it wasn't just my faith that was being shaken. i began to wonder what personal ideas i believed that weren't true. i believed i was not athletic enough; too stupid, i believed i had to go to college; i believed the Astros were a more important team than the Mets; i believed jeans that cost fifty dollars were better than jeans that cost thirty; i believed living in a certain part of town made you more important then living in another. i looked up at the cosmos and it had no scientific proof that any of this was true. the cosmos wasn't telling me i was stupid; it wasn't telling me one pair of jeans was better than another. the cosmos was just spinning around up there, as if to create beauty for beauty's sake, paying no attention to the frivolity of mankind. and i liked the cosmos. i liked the cosmos very much. it seemed that it understood something, perhaps, humanity did not understand...
all of these ideas seemed subjective, and once they seemed subjective, they began to feel subjective. far from depressing, this led to something quite beautiful. girls who i once ignored as not pretty enough became, to me, quite lovely, their gentle way and deep humility and tenderness and femininity, their true images no longer being compared to the lies of commercial propaganda. if i couldn't grasp an idea, i didn't fault myself as dense; the cosmos didn't seem to be suggesting there was any more value to a dumb person than an intellectual. and jeans got a lot cheaper too."