a journal entry from this morning that i thought would be better to share than to write something new on a similar topic...

that's the whole point, isn't it?
that you can't quite see His purpose
or find a reason why
hope... for things unseen
faith... in things impossible
as much as i want answers
or to see a reason in all of this
my hope is in Him
in believing
He has a plan and a purpose

i don't want to be angry with You - or offended by You. how do i learn to fully trust You? is that part of Your purpose in this time - to teach me relentless trust?
i need You to do this in me.
i will say i trust you - and mean it as much as i'm able.
"i believe... help my unbelief"
i don't think i've every understood that statement as much as i do now. of feeling powerless to do what i want - what i need - to do.
more important than everything.
more important than sleep.
refine me. make me more like You. everyday. until You look at me and see a reflection of Yourself. that is what i desire.

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